How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
