It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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