i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
