ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
