What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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