so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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