We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
