Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
