dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
