I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
my poor anus
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
