from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
