Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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