i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The adults are the big ones right?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
