when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
kristin has been a bad kristin
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
