I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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