You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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