I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
