can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
