Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
