I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
