so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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