I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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