we have officially lost it.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
