Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize