ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
