I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
