i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
