just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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