I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
