Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
