i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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