I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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