You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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