My Higher Power is John Stamos
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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