best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
