That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
