who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We're like a lot better than the average bears
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
