so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
