Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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