Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
