yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
