forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
