i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
