those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
