Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
