Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
