matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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