I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize