you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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