hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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