Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
