By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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