I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
