An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
