Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
