I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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