I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
