I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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