What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
