I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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