I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
