I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize