...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
