I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
