32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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