it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
