I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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