in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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